


Our Tired Days

by Oron_Joogor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abandonment, Anxiety Attacks, Art Student Eren, Blood, College Student Eren, Daddy Issues, Depressed Levi, F/F, Grisha Jaeger's Bad Parenting, Intrusive Thoughts, Kenny's A+ Parenting, Levi Actually Smiles, M/M, Piercings, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Sassy Karla Jaeger, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Slight trigger warning, Small Talk, Sort of late updates?? im so sorry, Tattoos, What am I doing?, barista levi, suicidal Levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-08-18 07:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8153491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oron_Joogor/pseuds/Oron_Joogor
Summary: Levi is a wreck, he can't think, he can't sleep, and his life is falling apart. When he suddenly meets a certain green eyed college student, how will his life change? Will Eren help him, or will he leave when he figures out that Levi is so damaged from his past? I'm a shit writer, but this one might be pretty good.





	1. Meet Me in the Coffee Shop

His body groaned and popped like old wooden steps as he listened to the shrill beating of the alarm clock. Sickly thin fingers gripped onto the sheets in protest, trying to push the thought of getting up out of mind. It took the twenty four year old a few seconds, to blindly reach over and fumble with the alarm clock enough to silence the bleating. The wash of a relaxed feeling came over his body, almost as if someone were there to see it. Heart pounding, and one pale arm stuck on his desk with some sort of dampness, sweat probably, he pushed a foot onto the carpet. The man glanced down at the first pale rays of sun on the dark green carpet. It almost made him question why he was awake even before the sun was up.  
  It took his body a few moments to wake up and calm down after the sudden shrill screaming of his alarm clock, but that’s what occurred every morning. The red numbers on the alarm alarm read _five_ _eighteen_ , or, what he liked to call, _wake_ _up, because you don’t need to be late for work again.  
_ The floor squeaked in a displeased tone as he tread across the carpet, layered with sins of the night before; bloodied paper towels and rags littered the floor around the trash bin. His hands moved deftly in the bathroom, and he tried not to let his thin fingers split the thin line of hope he had for today to be better. Silver eyes met someone in the mirror; the person he was, his reflection. This happened every single day, every morning, he traced his eyes over everything he saw in the mirror. To his silk black hair, his milky white skin, the slight monolid he sported from his Japanese heritage, or maybe his high cheekbones. It was something different every morning. It was, in a way, a plea to change the appearance that he saw every morning, staring at him with a hard eye and pursed thin lips.  
  Work, work, work, that’s all that Levi Ackerman did. He was a barista at Starbucks, and sure, he may have been a little too much for the people at the local coffee shop, but that didn’t stop him from getting tips and more service than the others. He tapped his chipped nails against the counter, a blank stare on his face. The raven glanced up slowly, at someone who seemed to be a college student. He smiled weakly, but it might’ve been mistaken for a grimace. Levi’s scowl did no help in his sales from day to day, but he may have passed up looking awkward for looking attractive to get tips. _  
_ “I’m Levi, and I’ll be your barista today. What could I get you today, sir?” Levi said this quietly, locking eyes with his customer. A regular, of course, but Levi couldn’t place his name, since he had never been a barista for him. Tan skin, chestnut brown hair, and green eyes that were remarkably hard to forget.  
“I’ll take a venti vanilla bean creme frappuccino, please. No whip, and soy milk.” The customer said this in the same cool tone as Levi, like he wasn’t excited to be up at six thirty in the morning, either. Levi nodded, picking up a cup and a sharpie. He looked up expectantly, finding that his customer was almost spacing. Levi chuckled, which vibrated his frail body a little bit. “Uh, Eren. E-R-E-N, thank you uh, keep the tip..”  
Levi’s body worked on command as he made the drink, and he soon called out for his customer in a weak voice. The boy, sure enough, heard his server, and his head popped up from a black bound book that he was studying, almost too intently. It happened in a flash; the boy buzzed by, grabbed his drink, and was out, leaving a crisp five dollar bill on the counter with a sticky note paper-clipped haphazardly to the side. “Must’ve been distracted..” The raven pocketed the bill, however, enjoying the tip whether it was intentional or not. __  


* * *

_  
_   It was until Levi was walking home, that the shake of anxiety hit him. A pale hand gripped his own wrist, and he was almost surprised that the black nails piercing the skin were his. His mouth salivated at the repulsive thought of his own skin feeling disgusting, like a stomach-churning feeling, the man licked his pale lips. He kept his foot placement paced evenly on the pavement, counting odd numbers to calm himself down. The man sighed unhappily, wondering quietly why his anxiety struck at such a time as this. The midday rays of sunshine hit his pale skin, warming him slightly against the bite of the autumn wind.  
  The uninviting atmosphere of Levi’s apartment building hit him with a force that he didn’t enjoy. It didn’t push away the bubble of anxiety, like battery acid in the pit of his stomach. The man felt like utter shit, but the feeling was subsided a fraction when he pushed his door open. A cool silver gaze met familiar turf of the apartment, and a click of a lock made the man breath out with a comfortable intonation.  
  Only his footsteps and the muted tone of the city could be heard in the barren flat. The once tensed man sighed as he felt the plush bed sink down as his weight pressed onto it. His stormy eyes searched the ceiling, almost as if he were trying to distinguish patterns on the painted red drywall. He reached his hand to his nightstand, pulling out a book bound in dark gray cloth. He tapped a chipped nail against the hard cover, and pulling a pen out of its cloth bind. Levi flipped open to a new page; a new start, he could say.  
  _Today was alright. I don’t remember what the boy’s name was, but he tipped me a five dollar bill after I made him a drink. There was a sticky note on the bill, but I’m honestly too suspicious to read it just yet. The guy seemed like a crack-head, and I don’t need to deal with that right now._ He paused in his writing to laugh just a little, and tap his pen against the paper. _Kenny doesn’t talk to me anymore, and he stopped going to mother’s grave. He’s a lunatic, and he says I’ve been tainted because of my… illness. I wouldn’t know what to say to that, since I had a breakdown walking home. I want to leave this place, just disappear for a while. Nobody would notice except for Erwin and Hange, but then again, would they really even care about it? I’m so far gone in this shit-hole depression. I don’t know what to do anymore. Bye.  
  _ His mood had worsened, and he stopped writing. His ink had smeared onto the side of his hand, and a little bit across the page. He paid no mind to it, and he put the book down. Levi’s gaze flitted around his room, desperately trying to find something to occupy his mind, something to distract him from this all too familiar low he was experiencing. It was then, that his hand fiddled with a pale yellow note in his pocket, and he brought it out tentatively, flipping it open and smoothing the creases. The man read the scrawled out line a few times, almost laughing off his nervous feeling. Two words and a phone number, on the note. ' _You’re cute_ ’, it said, with a small ten digit scrawling on the bottom. He almost smiled at the gesture, but he kept a monotonous expression as he tapped the number and a message into his phone.  
  ‘ _You’re cute too, brat._ ’ __  


* * *

_  
_   Levi sat in his bathtub, looking up at the ceiling silently. The autumn wind blew through the open window, showing the city outside. The pungent stench of the day rolled around the male’s head in gray storm clouds, dizzying him in an unrelenting way. Steaming water looked untouched, for the raven pushed all of the intrusive thoughts from his head, and he moved no more. The water was tinted a pinkish color, the small drops of blood blooming onto his arm being the source, promoting the cloudy pink. The man didn’t know how to feel, because of his body being so numb to the emotions belting out of his head, and into the air. He wouldn’t scream, he wouldn’t cry, because nobody would be there to listen afterwards. _  
**...Bzzz…**  
_ Levi blinked, and he shifted to look to the source of the vibration. His thin eyebrows furrowed, and he sighed quietly, simply staring at the phone. He felt like he was going to collapse, because of how tired he was of staying awake. Levi lifted himself out of the tub, and dried off his hands. It took him a moment to realize who the text was from, but the sudden realization made his heart pound in his throat, deepening the color in his naturally rosy cheeks. The message on his screen only told him that the boy on the other end knew it was the barista. It caught him in a small toxic cloud of gas, leaving him pondering on what to reply with. So, he just didn’t reply. Until, well, later that night when the intrusive thoughts practically started screaming in his own mind. His nimble fingers shook, and tapped against the screen. _  
_ The raven didn’t get a chance to reply, he just watched as another message appeared on the screen. ‘ _Coffee tomorrow morning? My treat, if you don’t have work._ ’ Levi’s stomach flopped around, as if a it were being shaken like a children’s toy. While picking his peeling nails, he replied a simple _yes_ , and the screen went void of any color. Levi’s stomach did flip-flops as he pushed himself out of the water, and grabbed his towel.   
Drying off took only moments, and he dressed in too-baggy, ripped sweatpants, and a worn gray hoodie, with a loose black tank top underneath. The small male’s body rested against the headboard, spine poking out like needles against the headboard, almost like the bones were threatening to push and crack against the wood. Levi felt too tired to stay awake, but the trickle of worry poked and prodded at the frail flesh of his mind, threatening to rekindle the fire of pain in his body.  
Depression was what Levi Ackerman needed help with, but the man was too far gone to consider trying on his own. His throat was dry from screaming silently for help, tongue tied in a knot with need, he had tied his own hands behind his back and he had no secondhand plan to carry out to untie them. Levi’s body weakened every time he got dizzy, every time he tasted blood on his cracked lips, or when his body force gagged itself, only to push up nothing, for the contents of his stomach had long been rung out. The man begged and pleaded for death to take him, but his countless pleas were muted by his own anxiety and struggle.


	2. I'm Fucked Up, But You Don't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's breakdown isn't soon from here. Erwin, oh Erwin, is learned to be the enemy. Caution of the italic section, trigger warning. I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or its characters.

  The morning air hit cool against Levi's skin, and it comforted him in a way that he had never been comforted before. He smiled softly against the pillows, feeling the soft breeze of mother nature's kiss gracing his skin. He didn't want to get up and face the day, but somehow, he felt motivated to do so. 

  A hand made its way to the corner of the bedsheet, and pushed it off. Goosebumps flooded the male's cold pale skin, and he sighed quietly. His hoodie laid on the floor in a heap, most likely pushed aside during the night only to be worn again the next morning. 

  Levi looked around the room, and took the time to glance out the window at the calling of scrub jays and soft morning singsong of a dove. His hand found its way running through silky, crow feather colored hair, detangling it with a few strokes. A sigh once more filled the room, as a small thread of nerves threatened to ruin his entire day if he tripped on the wire and pulled too hard. Levi's weight shifted off of the bed, and he quietly padded across the hall and into his bathroom. 

  Getting there, the man was slightly happy to see  _something_ different about his appearance. His silvery eyes looked a little less stormy, the dark circles having left them in a hurry. Still the same almost transparent skin, the same freckle spattered cheeks, and the same almost perfect face. 

  He laughed a little bit, the side of his mouth quirking up into a small smile. He laughed again at the portrayed awkwardness of the gesture of his reflection. "Maybe today just won't be so incredibly terrible..." He mumbled, glancing down. Maybe today wasn't destined to be too entirely terrible for the male. Sure, it was an early start just like always, but maybe the early start beheld something wonderful. 

  That 'something wonderful', of course, turned out to be a certain young boy who would change the bad course of Levi's terrible day. 

 

* * *

  The  _Coffee Train_ held an awkward brunet man, who sat alone in a booth, reading a stained paperback book. Browline glasses pressed high onto the bridge of his nose as he studied almost intently, but a small determined smile sat upon his full lips. Levi noticed first, that Eren's eyes were his favorite feature about the younger boy. 

  The raven male winced at the bell bleeping as he walked through the crappy doors. He mumbled an order to a nice waitress, who winked at him. He shifted on his feet uncomfortably before bolting to the booth that the brunet sat upon, with a small book bag next to him. 

  "Good morning." The brunet flashed a quick smile, his hand fiddling with the straw in his coffee. Levi studied the man across from him. He felt a pang in his chest as he longed to wear the flannel tied around Eren's slim waist. Wasn't he cold, in only a faded gray tank top and ripped skinny jeans? Levi decided he liked the style anyways, until he got too distracted. Eren's mouth moved while he paid the brunet no attention. 

  "Thank you for obviously admiring my true beauty, but I asked if you were tired at all." Eren grinned at Levi, who shrugged and put on his normal stoic face to try to hide the embarrassment that came with not paying attention to Eren's questions. The older man shrugged for a second, like he was trying to clarify that he didn't exactly know if he was tired or not. 

"Not exactly, but I wouldn't really complain if someone were to tell me to take a good book and lay in bed until I fall asleep," Levi's comment rang out quietly in the barren coffee shop, and it made Eren push out a small twinkling laugh. The smile on Eren's face almost felt like an addictive drug to Levi, he wanted to see more and more of that as the days went on. 

  Again, Levi decided not to pay very much attention, but to glance around the coffee shop with a small quirked smile on his face, or simply the way Eren's eyelashes batted against his cheek every time he blinked, or the way the full lips moved when the brunet got excited about something. It almost pushed the feeling of dread that Levi had plastered to the back of his mind, away for good.

  "I said, do you live with your parents anymore, or are you living alone?" Levi tuned in again, a surprised look on his face. His thin eyebrows raised, and he wondered exsctly what to answer. He bit one cracked lip, sucking until a bead of blood tainted his mouth with the bittersweet taste of metal. His heart tightened up at the thought of talking about his parents. Well, parent, and a deadbeat uncle who was definitely a professional drug dealer, and only washed his hair once every seven weeks and three days. 

  "I live alone right now, in a small apartment complex. I lived with my mom for the first six or seven years of my life, I think. But then my mother got into an accident and she sent me off to go live with my uncle. Boy, my uncle was the most deadbeat father figure I've ever had... I ran away at 17 after I graduated high school." Levi had glanced away when he felt the burn of tears tear at his esophagus. 

  Eren smiled softly. "I understand. My mother and father split. My dad had some pretty great parenting," Eren said this with a sarcastic tone. "One of my mom's legs is paralyzed, and I simply just don't live with either of them anymore. I used to live with my adopted sister, but she took her life in late January last year. Now I live with my best friend." Eren's tone seemed so optimistic, like he actually had a good outlook on life.

  Levi's shoulder shrugged in an oddly quirked way, and he looked down at the ground in a very displeased way. His thoughts trailed off to why he couldn't live with his own best friend. Why his own best friend was a terrible danger to himself and others. The raven male shivered, the feeling of dry heaves pushing at his throat, instead of a choked up feeling.

  " _You're mine, you got that, Levi?" Levi nodded, his breath off as he was pounded into with a brutal force. Tears and sweat spilled down his cheeks, as he cried out for help again and again. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. What did he do to deserve this? The raven male didn't know. Erwin's forced breath pressed hot against Levi's neck._

_Levi's legs shook as he felt white hot pain course through his body. He wondered why this was happening, wondering just what he had done to Erwin. The raven hung his head, only to figure out the source of of the white hot pain. He grimaced at the sight of bright red blood flowing onto the white silk sheets. He cried out as he felt himself being filled to the brink. His partner slid out, and he felt the drips of semen slide down his open thighs._

_"You remember that you're mine, got it, bitch? Mine. You don't get to choose anymore. You're mine, and only mine. I'll kill you if you come back with some dirty whore in my place." The apartment door slammed, and the young raven male crumpled up onto his bed, breathing hard as he tried to raise his sweat slicked body. The room smelled of sex, anger, and struggle._

_The bloodied scent spilled over the air for months, but Levi wouldn't get rid of it. His body shook over the toilet, malnourished and quivering as he vomited up bile and water. The small male's whines never roused anyone. He needed someone._

 Levi breathed out, knowing his eyebrows had furrowed in a pained way. He didn't try to stop himself. His drink sloshed as he pushed out of the booth, leaving a book and a contact case behind in his place. Eren wanted to object, he wanted to ask what was wrong, but his instincts told him not to. He just stared at his raven haired friend, getting an array of strange looks from the other people at the coffee shops. 

* * *

 

  The return of Levi's texts wasn't until nine days later. It came with apologies of bolting, and promises to see Eren again soon. There was no explanation from the raven male of why he so suddenly left, and left with only a brief encounter of the two males. Without even saying a simple goodbye, either. The only proof thay the days had been rough, we're the new bruises and tally mark like slashes over Levi's skin. He knew he was dangerous, and maybe that's why he was steering clear of Eren. 

  Levi's body dragged through the days, and he curled up each night only to wake up exhausted the next morning. He called in sick, tried to do anything to substitute going to work to lay there instead and just rest. Anxiety prickled at the anemic skin, cracked and peeling nails scraping against old wounds. Nothing could satisfy the short male, or cease his constant worry over absolutely nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the sort of weird chapter, I'm stuck with pneumonia and I'm terribly tired. Quality will be better, so don't worry.


	3. I'm Sorry for the Train Wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a breakdown, what can Levi do? His boundaries are tested, and he tries something new. He tries opening up to Eren, tries to let one person into his life. I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or its characters.

  Levi's hair sprawled against his pillow, and he stared out of the apartment window. His body trembled with the impact of cold air against his skin, and he numbly reached for his blankets to cover the marred flesh. It took a while for him to warm up, before his fingers tapped a message into his awake phone screen. He pressed send on a text message that he may later regret. 

  The phone vibration startled Levi for a moment, before he glanced down with a cool bored tone. His lips formed the words of the replying text message,  _'I'll be over in a few minutes.'_ The man forced a smile onto his face, almost if he was doubting the statement of the day being somewhat good. His nimble fingers pushed and pulled on a loose thread in his plush comforter, and he sighed as he pushed into the embrace of warmth. 

  A few minutes turned out to be twenty, and a tired looking brunet leaned against the steel frame of the door. A red and black flannel draped loosely over his shoulders, a black shirt underneath it. He wore the same ripped skinny jeans that Levi had seen in the  _Coffee Train._ Levi smiled kindly, but Eren sort of looked appalled at the sight of Levi, and it almost made the pale man retreat in his lack of self-confidence. He still smiled a little bit, trying to give the illusion. 

  Sure, it wasn't exactly a normal thing for Levi to respond to a knock at his door with a too large black tee shirt on, and a pair of loose sweatpants. His whole outfit would be considered loose. "Why do you have those marks on your arms?" Eren mumbled quietly. Levi's hand gripped the cold door knob, and he shrugged as he opened the door. Eren's lanky body slid through the frame, and he took off the pair of obviously new boots he sported.

  The twenty four year old had seen a lot in those twenty four years, and he silently wondered how Eren had never seen the raised pink marks along his pallid toned arms. Eren tucked his hands in his pockets, humming in a worried, but understanding tone. Levi clicked his tongue softly as he turned the knob to a dark brown door. The room purely smelled of Levi, and it was in an immaculate state. 

* * *

 

  A comfortable silence had risen between the two. Their soft breathing sounded in the room, along with the hum of the city through the cracked open window. Levi's eyes traced the peeling brown paint of the window sill. He tried to sneak a glance to the other boy, but found that Eren's gaze was already upon him. More specifically, on the scars littering Levi's flesh. 

  "What happened in the coffee place?... Please be honest with me. It's not like I won't understand... sure, I might be a little bit young, but I've been through a lot more than you think," Eren's voice rang with honesty, and Levi's hand quivered as he raised it to pick at the chipped off paint. The man didn't exactly know how to answer the question, for it seemed almost impossible to answer a question to someone he didn't know very well. However, Levi found an odd sense of comfort held in Eren's gaze, and he very much so longed to be the cause of the look in Eren's eyes. He knew the look was purely empathy, but Levi wanted it to be much more than just empathy.

  "I just had a moment, honestly. I thought about something and I didn't want to worry you too much..." Levi's shoulders shrugged as if he truly didn't know why he had left in such an unanticipated manner. His body went slack against the headboard of his bed, and he searched the painted ceiling for something that wasn't familar. For the first time in a while, he didn't sense the dreaded anxiety prickling at his skin like needles in a push-pin, or his thoughts rattling his brain like shoes in a dryer. "Sometimes, Eren, I feel strange about bringing up something that happened in the past. So strange that it makes my skin itch in such a way that I'd like to simply peel it off my body and wash it under steaming water and bleach."

   _The touches. He's touching me. I'm shivering, I'm shaking, please stop, please don't leave me, please don't be faking_ this. _I want you to stay here._ Levi breathed out as tan arms snaked around him. His heart beat fast, and he pushed his forehead against Eren's neck. The man's frail body shook, and unexpected tears rolled down his cheeks. Levi clung to the material of Eren's flannel, trying to grasp what he could of the physical contact. It had been so long since he'd been allowing himself to touch someone without feeling foul. Foul wasn't even a strong enough word to express how he viewed himself. 

  "Shh... I'm here, Levi... calm down..." Eren's voice was soothing. It was close, and something Levi knew he could relish for the time being. He pressed the tip of his cold nose into the dip of Eren's collarbone, trying to imagine if Eren's green eyes would brim and spill tears just like his did. If he was deprived of physical contact, if Eren felt like this. If anyone really felt like this, if anyone  _understood._

* * *

 

  The sight would have been alarming to someone who knew Levi's nature. The five o'clock, morning autumn breeze brushed through the open window, and Levi's small figure pressed closer to the body next to him. His companions brunet hair was a mess, and his lips pressed in a plump line together. They laid in a tangle of limbs, and it was truly astounding. 

  Levi stirred, his mouth quirking into a small smile as he smelled the familiar smell of Eren, and felt his skin pressed firmly against Eren's. He didn't open his stormy eyes, not wanting to ruin the moment. He teetered in and out of sleep, until Eren grumbled softly. He felt Eren's lips connect with the bedraggled mop of raven hair, and he laughed a little bit. "Good morning..." Levi whispered. 

  "Good mornin'... sunshine..." Eren's voice spilled from his mouth, a lopsided grin on his face. Levi touched Eren's chin gently, stroking over the side and up his jaw slowly. He kept a calm expression, but the man almost wanted to celebrate. Little by little, he had opened up to someone, felt safe alone in his home with one other person, and was able to... rest. 

  "You can't leave me now.. you're not allowed..." Levi shrugged a shoulder absently, and he pinched Eren's jaw softly. He glanced to the green eyes that lay in front of him, and found they were high from sleep. Levi's thin lips parted in a sigh, and he moved his hand back to press on Eren's chest gently. His body relaxed, and the man kept close, soft snores signalling his departure from consciousness. 

  "I'll be here... I promise," Eren said quietly, long after he knew that the male he held in his arms had fallen asleep. "Through everything you want me to be here for..." His lips connected with a pale temple, and Eren's green eyes fluttered shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye aye aye guys, I'm still brutally suffering from pneumonia but I'm trying to push out a chapter to keep things going a little. Suggestions are welcome! Constructive criticism only, please!


	4. Promise to Stay Through These Hours, Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is an emotional prick sometimes, but that's why Eren is falling for the short raven haired male. Maybe he could woo him enough to get some sort of a good reaction, or enough shit puns to get him through. Some more of Levi's past is uncovered, and there's some saucy stuff at the end of the chapter ;) I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, nor do I take credit in these characters.

  Levi's eyes cracked open, noticing the sun was almost up for the first official time he gained full consciousness. He'd turned in the brunet's arms, and he was pressed firmly against the strong chest. It reminded him of something, and Levi wet his lips quietly, a small hint of panic racing through his system. Levi's cheeks burned, and he felt sick, like someone was pushing acid through his throat. He felt like the tan arms of the brunet were restricting him, holding him back from getting out of the grip. It almost reminded him of... _Erwin._  
  
  It was roughly half a second until Levi started struggling, sweat quickly forming on his brow. Eren stirred and grumbled something quietly, his arms loosening and letting go of the raven male. Levi's heart beat hard in his chest as he scooted away, laying with his eyes closed, facing Eren. The small male plucked at the blanket strings, his fingers almost rubbing against the threads in an itching sort of manner. The man couldn't calm his breath, and he tried not to let tears prick at the sides of his eyes. The wetness was there, sticking Levi's eyelashes together. He couldn't think properly, resorting to counting odd numbers on his fingers to try to ease the pricking and pushing of needles into his stomach and throat. _One, three, five, seven_... and most of it didn't work as well as he thought it might.  
   
  "Levi, why are you crying?" There was a soft hand on top of Levi's before he knew it, and Levi relaxed visibly. "It's like eight in the morning... did I upset you by only saying good morning?" Eren's voice was quiet but humorous, and he had his goofy grin upon his lips. Levi didn't smile this time, his lips stood in a thin line, and he tried to get away from the touch. He felt like he didn't deserve what Eren was giving him, but he craved it so very bad. The man was stressed out and paranoid, and he silently suffered through the touches of the younger male.  
   
  Levi shrugged in response to Eren's words, and he laughed a little bit. In all actuality, the reason why Levi was crying was not because he was fully upset. The reason was that of how he felt at that moment. His limbs felt tired but energized at the same time, he felt like he wanted to open up, but it seemed like a bad idea too. The raven's lips were chapped, and his hair looked slightly messy and dry. He still smiled awkwardly at Eren, in hopes of hiding the picture in his brain. He slowly pushed himself closer to Eren, the slow feeling of needles of anxiety pressing into his skin were washed away by the natural scent of Eren. And _Axe: Anarchy._ The smaller male almost laughed a little as the scent got stronger with Eren's arms wrapping around him. The small smile still splayed onto his thin, pale lips.  
  
  Levi couldn't exactly explain what was wrong, he guessed that it was simply his emotions. He pressed an ear to Eren's heart, and tried not to think about the events going on. He pushed his hand up, and threaded it through silky dark brown locks. His fingers tugged and pulled gently at the hair, while Levi softly pressed his lips against the dip of Eren's protruding collarbones. The man didn't want to get attached, he didn't need that sort of stress in his life like a lover. However, Levi's body wanted what it wanted, and what that was?  
  
  _Eren Jaeger, is what Levi wanted._  


* * *

   
_An open palmed slap swiped across Levi's bare thighs, and he breathed out softly. He smiled at the sound of his lover's approval, and the tugging up of a new edition of Victoria's Secret underwear over his hard member. His frail body laid there, and he looked back to his blond lover. Erwin's loving gaze pierced into Levi's silver eyes, and he smiled softly. "You did good, baby... but not until next time."_  
  
_Levi nodded at this statement, and rolled onto his back. He glanced at a bandaged over wound, now leaking blood through the gauzy white material of the wrapping. Levi didn't frown, though, he only smiled at the thought of this. Levi knew that Erwin had only done that on accident, no matter how many stitches it caused around his thigh. The small man smiled as he felt Erwin's hand brushing against the bandages, and a kiss planted onto the side of his forehead. Levi looked up and pecked a kiss onto Erwin's lips, and he laughed a little bit. His throat was pained, from the cries of his earlier intimacies._  
  
_"Get some rest, my beautiful boy. I'll be here when you wake up."_  
  
_But he wasn't. Levi woke up in a panic, his heart racing and aching for his lover. He groped at the sheets blindly in the pitch black of his room, and cried out for Erwin. The apartment was once again silent, and Levi wondered why he had false hope for Erwin to ever come back. The man always left, and was gone for several months at a time. Maybe this time he would finally leave, finally leave without taking Levi's soul with him._

* * *

  
  The day went on... well, normally. The only altered thing about Levi's house, was more sound. The white noise of it almost didn't aggravate him, but he dealt with it for the sake of someone else being in the small apartment with him. He'd cooked breakfast, of a large amount of silver dollar pancakes, a side of freshly whipped cream, with berries and syrup on the side of the plate. Eren wolfed it down, while Levi picked at the much smaller portion he had on his plate. The raven knew it might worry someone that he wasn't eating that much, but he tried to eat some. Most of it ended up right back up on the floor or in the toilet, and the thought threatened to raise bile in his throat. He set his fork down, and glanced over to Eren, who sat on the floor at Levi's coffee table, immersed in an episode of Spongebob. Levi took the chance to stand, grabbing Eren's plate to take to the sink. The brunet gave Eren a very odd glance, like he was slightly concerned about the amount of food that Levi _didn't_ eat. He slowly stood to follow the other male into the kitchen. He leaned against pristine white marble counter tops, tracing them with a finger as if they were more expensive than the whole apartment complex itself. The taller male hummed in disapproval as Levi scraped the remains of his food into the trash can, and he observed as Levi tensed a little bit.  
  
  Levi took his time washing the two plates and the rest of the dishes, his body looked scared against Eren's looks. He gulped down a small amount of air, and closed his eyes slowly, willing himself to calm down. His heart physically hurt as the thought of Eren leaving because of something like this, an attack like this, and he looked down at his hands, washing a cup for too long. Levi's nose dripped, and he sniffled. Nothing worked to stop the flow, however, as blood dripped slowly from both of the raven haired male's nostrils, and surely enough, both of them. He sighed and wiped it on the side of his hand, only to find that this coaxed more blood to spill from his nose. "Could you reach over and get me a napkin, Eren?" The man said calmly. He looked back, and frowned a little bit. His hands shook, and he looked like he was about to vomit because of how much blood was on him, the sink, and how much was still coming out.  
  
  Time went by, and Levi had gone to the bathroom to do a small morning routine. He looked in the mirror and saw two tired eyes staring back at him. Two tired eyes that didn't look ready for the day, that wanted nothing but to rest against someone and just fall asleep. His lips pursed into a thin line, and he pushed his hair back, only to watch it fall back into his face for a moment. He stripped out of his shirt, pants, and undergarments. It took him a moment to step out of eye-shot of the mirror, and he pulled back his shower curtain. Hot water belted down onto the mat, and he stepped in. His eyes shut slowly as he felt the hot water soak into his cold skin. Levi knew the scalding hot water wasn't good for his skin, but he leaned into it anyways. Maybe he wanted to practice burning in hell.  
  
  For ten minutes he stood in the shower, having washed his hair and body. Now he was thinking, a small frown on his face. He flinched when he heard the unlock door click open. "Eren?" He said quietly, the question in his voice was evident, but Levi didn't receive an answer before a tanned hand pushed the shower curtain open. Full frontal nudity was okay with Levi, but he didn't really expect Eren to also be naked. He stared for a second, making a small double chin, almost like a mating call to symbolize that he was being awkward. He looked away as soon as Eren got into the shower, and then he turned away. The man's cheeks burned softly, his eyebrows still furrowed slightly at the thought of being in the shower with someone else. Naked. No clothes.  
  
  Hands ghosted around Levi's waist, and he tensed, trying not to push into the attention he was getting. Eren pressed his soft lips against Levi's neck, and the short man raised a shoulder, laughing a little bit. "Come on... none of that..." Eren's voice melted Levi, and he closed his eyes. He felt a soft pressure at his tail bone, and before he could realize what it was, the short man felt prodding of Eren's finger at his puckered entrance. Levi's legs melted to jelly, and he whined, trying to hold himself up. Eren pressed a slim finger in to the knuckle, but Levi's body tensed up and almost rejected it. The short male gasped and sighed as he pushed back into the intimate touches, hardening at the pushing at his insides. "Maybe another day..." He whispered, removing the finger and pulling Levi close from behind.  
  
  "Just not today..." Levi responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess a pneumonia goes away a little bit suddenly, amiright ahahah. Here's a new dank chapter, I'll get it going into some of the action, but I promise longer chapters in the future, and better quality.


	5. Why Are You Doing This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has followed Levi, but why? What does he want with Levi, now? To leave like many other times in the past? However, the experience is strange and... almost like he's torturing Levi for chaotic evil. I don't own the characters of Shingeki no Kyojin.

  A sigh passed Levi's lips as he looked down at the drink he was blending. His hands worked on auto-pilot to put together the drink, and spray whipped cream to top it.The man's body hurt, and he wanted to go home. But at the same time, he'd been feeling better than usual for the past few days. Eren had been coming by a lot more, and almost repetitively, he stayed at Levi's house to leave after a good night's sleep. What happened between the two men was almost forgotten, but it crossed Levi's thoughts from time to time throughout the day. He pursed his lips as he put a topping on it that he wasn't supposed to, and he sighed. He wasn't worried about it, however. His fingers traced over the lids and he grabbed one, pushing it on tightly. He said the name clearly, and realized something. Levi's body tensed up as he glanced down to the drink. And in his own writing, was the name of someone who shouldn't have been coming by. Levi looked up, only to meet icy, crystal blue eyes, and blond hair.

  A kind smile came to Erwin's lips, "I believe that's for me. Thank you." The drink slipped from Levi's hand into Erwin's, and he almost flinched as he felt the larger, warm hand press against his for a moment. The tall man's shirt shifted with his movement as he slipped out the push doors of the local coffee shop. The place remained empty, with only Levi on the register and barista. His hands gripped the counter slowly, wondering how the man had found him. Levi hadn't seen Erwin in... so long. It may have been a year without having any tabs on him, without worrying that Erwin was after him. But he frowned, still noticing the smell of the subtle cologne Erwin wore. It lingered in the air with a slight sting, and it hit Levi hard. He messed with the gold ring on his finger, trying not to think about it. Thoughts about Erwin just kept pushing into his mind like a persistent migraine that kept coming back. He watched rain drops slide down the windows, his hands shaking with fear. The man kept a straight face, though, to be professional about something that bothered him. He picked at the tight dress shirt that he had on, pondering on what to do. Levi had never had the man come to him in public, as if trying to say something to him. The raven knew that Erwin lived several miles from the coffee shop, and he worked even further away, so coming to the shop must have been an intentional action from the blond man.

  Levi traced the counter viciously with one of the disinfectant wipes he kept around for when someone particularly germ like came around. He wiped down any surfaces, and the table that Erwin had sat at. He stared at a piece of paper on the chair that Erwin sat on, and he sighed softly. He white-knuckled the back of the metal chair, and looked out the window. The mall had three or four people in the main commons, so it didn't matter. Starbucks was silent, and not very popular, so Levi sat aside and took the small note in his hand. With an almost regretful grimace on his face, he unfolded the note. It was bigger than he thought it would be, a piece of lined paper with a message scrawled onto it. Levi's stormy eyes read over it carefully, inspecting every single detail of the letters before him. The curvy script like handwriting, and the signature of Erwin Smith laying above a pale blue line. The paper was slightly yellowed, obviously from a notebook that was old, or well used. Levi picked at a small tear in the side of the paper, the frown on his face not lessening.

  _Levi, I understand that we may have had some difficulty with our relationship in the past, but I think we may be able to do something about it. I suppose you may turn down my offer, but I will not accept that. I expect you to be in my penthouse by midnight sharp, being early is welcome. Giving some explanation will probably be mandatory for you to consider coming into my home, but I assure you that I have changed, and I am quite safe from where I was before. My reasoning is that I would like to work things out with you, how about that? This should be convincing enough, for you know what I feel about people who stand me up. I will make you pay if you do, Levi. Please accept my offer, and you will be most happy to enjoy a night of dinner and catching up tonight. I apologize sincerely for the abrupt invitation, but you must accept this. I will have dinner and clothing ready for you, I know that you still have a key. Yours for a lifetime, Erwin Smith._

  Levi felt queasy about the note, and he read it over and over again until it was closing time. He stood up when he felt his phone ring in his pocket. However, he ignored the call. The man knew it was most likely from Eren, and that might've made him feel bad about considering taking up Erwin's offer. Levi stopped at his own thoughts, holding onto the hook that held his work apron and his hat. Had he really considered going to the penthouse of his multi-billionaire ex-boyfriend? It seemed a little sketchy to the man, like he was just begging to be killed by Erwin. However, there was some sort of trust that Levi had in the man. Bile rose in his throat, and his eyes watered at the burning sensation of it. He scratched at the palms of his hands, and pushed the door open, turning as he locked up the back entrance of the cafe. Levi's eyes searched the parking lot, and he found his worn down black pickup truck. While walking, he felt the spatters of raindrops plopping down onto his shoulders slowly. By the time he got to his car, he was shivering as he tried not to react to the cold weather all too much.

  The short man started the engine, hearing it sputter and protest for a very small amount of time before the engine rumbled to life. He pressed against the seat as he watched rain drops splat onto his windshield. The wiper blades occasionally slicked them off, but they always came down harder and harder by the time they ended up being washed away. The cold air seeped slowly into the truck, but Levi could barely feel it with the heater on high. It steamed up his car, and he doodled against the steam, making small smiley faces and symbols. He drew wings, and a key in very detailed accuracy, until the steam faded. The man sighed softly, and looked down at his shoes, pressing against the gas and break pedals. He slowly backed out of the parking lot, and drove quickly, almost as if he was trying to escape from the thoughts of a bad day.

* * *

 

  He laid in the bed and closed his eyes. Sure, it was only six o'clock in the evening, but Levi's apartment was cold and lonely when he got home. He had set three alarms; one when he had to wake up, another for the time he would leave, and the last to when he should be arriving there. His body shivered slowly under three blankets and a sweatshirt, the windows were locked and closed, and the room was dark. Levi's body slowly warmed as he got comfortable, and the man fell into an undisturbed sleep.

  Levi's eyes popped open as he looked at his phone, and sighed slowly. He snoozed it, and laid in his bed, contemplating on what to wear for the occasion. The man was worried to death, but he tried to be positive about it. He pushed himself up, and sat cross-legged on his bed, enjoying the bleak silence that washed over the apartment. It was sort of lonely, actually, but the white noise of the city made Levi feel at peace in his own home. His leg slipped from out under the blankets, and he got changed into a black tee shirt and black pants, with a dark gray hoodie over the top of everything. The man fingered through his hair, his body shaking, the cold seeping into his clothing in an unforgiving way. However, he decided to grab his keys, and head out the door.

  The night was dark, and the ground was covered in roughly an inch of snow. Around the street lights was a cloud of fog, making the sky seem like a deep stormy purple. Most would've retreated from the harsh conditions of weather, but a select few might've been out during this time of night. The streets were silent, and the occasional flash of a car's headlights shone through a window, only to wake the occupant inside of their house. This time of night almost beckoned criminals to break into someone's house, try to take them away. but something like that didn't happen. A black sort of rumble fired through the city, and clouds pushed closer together, almost like they wanted to suck out all of the oxygen from the atmosphere. Snow layered damp porch steps, making frost grow steadily on the windows and windshields of cars. The weather begged the darkness to collapse the city into utter chaos, and it was almost laughable how a chipped-painted, black Toyota truck drove into the parking lot of a group of penthouses in his neighbouring city. The truck belonged to a pale man.

  Levi couldn't gather up the courage to go inside of the building. His lips were practically blue from being in a cold truck for so long. He frowned a little bit, his body quivering as he tapped the steering wheel, his right hand tapping it with a brittle nail. The man licked his lips, glancing to the only penthouse window that seemed to have some sort of light shining through it. The drapes were obviously pulled to shield out that light, but the thin material didn't help all that much. Levi pushed the door open with some force, and slammed it shut. He didn't bother locking it, for the truck was nothing short of one hundred dollars. He flashed a key card into a slot, and it clicked open. As he walked in, he was greeted by nobody in the lobby, because who would be at work this late? Mostly everything was still familiar as he glanced down the hall. One light was on in the middle of the hallway, and the elevator light was green. Levi silently thanked whoever for him not having to go up the stairs.

  For a moment, Levi thought that only one light being on in the entire hall was a little bit suspicious, but he was greeted with calm elevator music as he was lifted from floor to floor. He silently prayed at this wasn't going to be the end of him. The doors of the elevator automatically closed when Levi got his small form out of the way, and he pressed the fifty two button. He watched the digital numbers of the elevator, chewing on the inside of his lip nervously as he watched the levels increase by the second. His body shook as the elevator doors pressed open at the correct floor, and he walked into the small hallway. The hall was quiet, but one of the doors did not have their _do not disturb_ sign hanging on the handle. The small man went to the door, and sighed. He looked at the number, the familiarity of it making his stomach churn as if he ate something bad. The man turned the handle, once he could really get a good grip on it, and pushed it open. He was met with a warm gust of air, and a large living space. He glanced around, and saw the blond man's back turned to him, taking a rest on the couch. The house was immaculately clean, and Levi enjoyed it. He saw the warm glow of the fire, and assumed that was the light that he saw when he had parked. The man removed his shoes, and slowly walked to the couch. He almost thought this seemed normal, and he sat down next to the tall blond male. Normal. This was what happened years and years before. The both of them would sit down on Erwin's couch and talk about how their days went, but this didn't seem normal.

  Levi leaned his slim body against Erwin's shoulder, and felt him move to accommodate to Levi's advances. Levi's head rested against the dip of the man's collar bone, with his body curled up and almost resting in the bigger man's lap. There was silence in the entire house, with just the steady flow of both men's breathing patterns. Levi tapped Erwin's heartbeat against his forearm, his eyes closed. Things started to fall into place, and this nature between the two men just seemed sort of normal. Levi wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that the two of them, ex-lovers, were deciding to sit side by side and remain as lovers. The thought repulsed him, and he sighed softly. "I'm glad you came tonight, Levi... and I apologize for the things that I've done in the past. Would you like to sit and discuss this over dinner?"

  The raven looked up at his companion and shrugged, the dark circles under his eyes seemingly more evident than usual. Levi just wanted to go to bed. He felt like he desperately needed sleep, and that something might not have been right about that. What if Erwin tried to poison him while he slept? That was in Levi's mind, but it almost seemed to different for Erwin to do something like that if he was the host of this get-together. Levi pushed off the hoodie he wore, enjoying the feeling of Erwin's skin against his, for once. He frowned at this, feeling Erwin shifting to carry him. Levi held onto Erwin's shirt, full well knowing that the man wouldn't drop him. Levi's body was too light to be dropped, but easily pushed around.

  Erwin set the smaller male onto the bed, almost quickly, so he wouldn't touch Levi more than he needed to. He smiled, but did not get one in return, only an distrusting look and a small cough. Erwin sat on the bed, and laid down, his hands slipping over the sheets. Levi glanced up to the blond male, and looked down as he tried not to engage conversation. He licked his lips and looked down, examining his own scars on his arms. He didn't enjoy feeling unwelcome in a home that he used to spend every day in. He just turned on his back, and fell asleep in the comfortably warm room without saying a word to Erwin. His sleep was very undisturbed, and it was quite confusing how content he seemed in this house. Levi looked like a child when he was laying asleep, his mouth opened a little bit with soft snores leaving his lips every few minutes. Erwin sighed, and closed his eyes too. He tried not to think about the past, only mending it slightly.

* * *

 

  The morning was welcoming to Levi. His black hair was messy, and his back was pressed against a warm body. The man tried to bask in the peaceful state of barely waking up. His body felt relaxed as he pulled the blankets over his body, pressing slowly to the body behind him. His silvery eyes opened, before he froze, and realized where he was. He pushed out of the loose grip as he got up, rushing out of the room. Levi heard the slow groan of the blond male inside of the room, but there was no time to hear otherwise as Levi decked it out of the house, his boots unlaced as the elevator door closed. He slid down onto the floor and sniffled, feeling his phone in his back pocket. Levi knew he couldn't do this, he couldn't leave Erwin so suddenly. But the space was awkward, and Levi didn't feel right being in the house with the blond man.

  Levi got into his car, and he brought out his phone. With twenty nine percentage, he called Eren, and pulled out of the parking lot of the dreaded penthouses. Eren answered shortly, his voice sounding chipper and bright. "Levi, what's up? You usually don't call me." There was the voice of other people from the other side of the phone, and it made Levi shiver softly. The black haired man took a moment to process what Eren said, glancing up at the dark sky. It was about six in the morning, and Levi knew that Eren usually wasn't up this early. The man sighed softly, and furrowed his eyebrows in a concerned way. He was more concerned for himself, not knowing what to do. 

  "I'm going home right now... he found me, Eren... but Erwin didn't hurt me this time. I don't know what he's after. I'm scared, can you... can you please come over?" Levi's voice was a whisper as he started driving. The man gripped the steering wheel, as the other side of the phone suddenly went quiet. The college student on the other side of the phone went silent, too.

  "I'm on my way..." Eren whispered. "I love you."

  Levi's eyes opened wide, as he heard the dial tone of the phone ring out of the speaker. He looked at the phone, and laughed dryly at the statement Eren last said to him. His hands shook slightly as he started driving, leaning back in the faded driver seat of his black Toyota.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating on a day to day basis. I've been sort of packed with school work and I got in a small car crash, got myself a concussion. I'm pretty good now, enjoy the new and slightly long chapter. I appreciate constructive criticism, and that only. If you have any suggestions, I'll try to incorporate them into a chapter.


	6. It Was Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhm, what am I doing now? Don't really know, but I hope it's good. I'm not good at chapter summaries. DISCLAIMER**THIS CHAPTER HAS SELF HARM IN IT** The title may seem bad, but it isn't. A new character will be introduced in this chapter.

  Levi and Eren didn't arrive at the same time to Levi's small apartment. The raven haired man was out of breath as he quickly walked into his apartment. His eyes flicked around the room, and he blinked back tears. He felt dirty, but he wasn't sure if he was supposed to or not. He knew he hadn't cheated on Eren, because this was not considered cheating. But even then, the man felt guilty of something. Levi knew it was that he had stayed with Erwin Smith, a less recent ex of his own.  

  He locked the door, fully knowing that Eren had a key to his apartment. The man pushed his feet to go faster as he walked to the bathroom, locking the door also. Unlike the front door, this one didn't open from the outside when it was locked. The raven man opened the top cabinet, seeing things assorted like he liked them in the small space. He slowly brought out a small wooden box, and opened it. He ran his thumb over every small piece of square like metal in the box. Levi wanted to stop himself as he took one glinting razor out. It was sharp, because Levi, like the obsessive freak he was, had sharpened them all after use. He knew he'd eventually go back to them. 

  A small sigh sounded from the man's lips as he pressed the sharp metal into the underside of his arm, the tattooed flesh already having been marred with the marks of his past. He hadn't done this in a while. It made his mind go numb, his body go rigid, yet he kept doing it. The glide of the razor over one cut kept him awake, alert of the blood spilling onto the floor loudly.  _Loudly. He can hear. Someone can hear this. Someone will see this. He'll find me._

  Levi looked up to see a pool of blood on the white linoleum floor. How long he'd been in the bathroom, he didn't know. The man was half way undressed, with his shirt and briefs clinging to his legs as blood dripped from them. When had he done that? Levi ran his hands slowly, disrupting the scabbing process on his legs. He winced, watching as blood quickly rushed onto the floor again. Both of his arms were a muddled mess. Then there was a knock at the bathroom door. 

  "Levi? Are you okay? I've been waiting out here for a while like you told me to." Levi didn't recall telling Eren anything. He didn't recall Eren even arriving. The door pushed open, and Levi watched the handle turn. Eren's voice caught in his throat sharply, and he stopped dead in his tracks. A small frown sat upon his face. The brunet wore all black, and was able to pick up Levi without staining his clothes permanently. 

  "Oh god, oh god, no, Levi.." Eren closed his eyes for a second, and couldn't help but notice that the smaller man was shaking. The room smelled like bleach, blood, and Levi's soaps. His tan hands reached for Levi as he stood. Levi almost tried to form words on his thin lips, but he couldn't. Instead, he just stepped into the comfort of Eren's arms. Eren's work was quick as he brought the man to his own bedroom, the familiarity of it all not as comforting as it should've been on a normal day. 

  Eren almost wanted to leave the room. He couldn't stand the sight of Levi covered in blood, trembling from something that looked like fear and fatigue. Eren's worrying led to Levi being bandaged, however. Laying in bed was the raven haired man's only option. With Eren at his side, the experience wasn't so bad. If it weren't for the fact that all he was in was a pair of black underwear. The man may have been beautiful, but the black tattoos that curled around his hips and the piercing at his bellybutton may have tainted his skin. Something he usually told nobody about, however. 

* * *

  Levi's eyes blinked open, and he realized just suddenly how hot his skin was. Well, and the loud knocking on the door. Eren laid next to him, mouth hanging open slightly and drool down his chin. A forgotten episode of Supernatural played on the TV, but Levi paid no mind to it. He slipped from the bed, grabbing a tee shirt as he slowly went to the door. Upon opening it, he found a slightly crazy looking brunette outside of his apartment door. How had she found his house again? 

  "Long time no see, Levi!" The tall woman said, hugging Levi with the force of 18 grown elephants. She pulled away after dropping him back onto his carpet. "Aren't you going to invite me in? I've never seen the new place!" The woman pushed herself in, however, not caring for the man's opinion. Her ponytail swung softly, glasses perched on her nose carefully; however, they came covered in a layer of dust. 

  "Yeah, alright, shitty glasses. Sit on the fuckin couch or some shit.." Levi was as happy as normal. He assumed his old friend could find herself a place to sit in the small living room. Without bothering to bring the woman one, he poured a glass of water before bringing himself to the living room. 

  "Oh my god, what happened?!" Hange practically screeched, looking directly to Levi's bandaged legs. He waved her off, wondering the real intent of this gathering. For him, two was company but with Hange, you didn't just get one person. You got the equivalent of 5 different people. The man traced his fingers over the hem of the bandages, a small frown on his face. 

  "Just an accident, Hange.." Levi sighed, but looked up and smiled at her softly. Sure, despite her being a complete idiot most of the time, she was a sister to Levi. He'd always end up missing the eccentric woman. "I'm doing better, no matter how bad this looks... Hange, I have a boyfriend, and a job, and I'm finally becoming okay again," Levi paused, laughing and smiling more. "I'd willingly spend the rest of my life with the kid. I don't know why he's so.. perfect.. or something.." Hange burst out with her own laughter, making Levi both amused and confused. He quieted down, while she stared almost at him. Almost. 

  "I mean, maybe he's as happy as you too.." A familiar voice said near Levi's ear, lips connecting with his temple softly. "Ever thought of that, Lee?" Levi's embarrassment pressed him to blush softly, looking up at his boyfriend, who stood behind him. Eren wore a black sweater and black pants, looking sort of worn out but.. happy. 

  Hange gagged, pointing inside of her mouth. "Nasty. Didn't school ever teach you guys any sense of no PDA?" The three of them chuckled at the remark, but the room soon went silent. The brunette sighed softly, and stood. "Levi, I need to talk to you sometime. I know that isn't really a good idea, but it's from E." The code name for Erwin. Levi almost immediately tensed and nodded slightly. Eren noticed the bunched up feeling in Levi's shoulders, and squeezed them in a meager attempt to comfort his boyfriend. 

* * *

  The day almost went by normally. 

  Eren had went to school, reluctantly however, since he didn't want to leave his boyfriend alone at the house after the incident. Levi had just said that it was over, so it didn't matter if Eren were to be there or not. He told Eren that he would be okay. The man sat, sort of antsy as he tapped his fingers onto the couch. The apartment was silent, and the blistering headache that Levi sported was not the best.  

  Hange, of course, had left. She had been the cause of his blistering headache. Levi had time to actually go outside. The day was not friendly to the man, having his malnourished body quivering from the cold around him. He wore Eren's hoodie as he pushed a shopping cart around the store, the gentle hum of wheels, voices, and machines whirring made Levi uncomfortable. This would be one of the times where Eren should've been there, but Levi almost didn't mind. Almost. 

  Levi glanced up as a familiar voice rang in his ears. "You had to leave so soon, Levi," Erwin's voice said, sounding absurdly content with its owner. Levi hummed, not bothering to look the blond man in the eyes. There was a small pick at the bandages on his arms, and he scoffed, recoiling only to look up into the crystal blue eyes. "Where did those come from? I'm fairly certain they weren't there last night, Levi. You would have told me."

  Levi shook his head. He opened his mouth, only to falter and forget what he was trying to say. The raven haired man looked to the side, contemplating whether or not to tell him the truth. "I relapsed. Funny, am I right?" 

  _What are you doing? Levi, don't say this to him. The man that raped you. Do you ever think about yourself? He knows every nook and cranny of you, of your soul, of your being. You should fear him. Fear him. Fear us. Fear what we're telling you, but accept it as the truth. Everyone was right about him. You shouldn't have gotten involved._

 Erwin furrowed his large eyebrows as Levi stopped in the middle of the aisle, not responding to Erwin's concerned glances or small statements. It started to worry him, slightly. "Levi... I'm not angry, I hope you understand that. Why did you do it, though? You know you don't deserve any of this.. not for yourself. You're.. perfect.." Erwin sighed as Levi regained his composure, but didn't say a word. Erwin stopped after a while, and turned around. While walking to the check-out, he silently wondered why he even tried to make up with Levi. 

  Levi shook his head as he looked back, watching the back of Erwin's blond head disappear behind the aisles. Levi wondered how Erwin kept finding him. It was odd, actually. The raven haired man grimaced, plucking small things from the shelves. He tried to push the thoughts from his mind. The only thing he'd put in his stomach that morning was a can of flat beer and a clementine, out of the  _Darling Clementines_ box sitting atop his refrigerator with the alcohol. 

  Levi looked around, finding his vision slowly breaking up. He blinked gently, trying to figure out what it was. The man was seeing stars, almost. He felt like a child who had rubbed their eyes too hard, as his legs collapsed underneath him. He let out an involuntary shout, and someone came to his aid. It was definitely not Erwin, which made Levi glad. What didn't make him happy, was that he felt the cuts on his arm opening and spilling blood. So did the woman, apparently, and she gasped. " _ **Someone call 911! He's bleeding severely! Sir, what's your name? Are you okay? Can you hear me? Can you breathe?**_ " Levi heard the woman's voice faintly, and he scrunched up his face. He could hear the footsteps around them, but his vision was almost black completely. 

  "L-Levi Ackerman.. I'm.. I'm fine, I can hear you.. I can breathe.." Levi obviously wasn't pleased with himself. There were a few people crowding him, which made it hard to think for him. He was trying to open his eyes, but he couldn't. Levi just let the darkness of his eyelids take him over. His body went limp in the woman's arms. 

* * *

  Levi woke up, furrowing his eyebrows as a bright light immediately hit him. His vision was blurry as he struggled to open his gunmetal gray eyes. There was quiet snoring next to him, but Levi didn't notice. The man stared out the window with a small sigh, glancing to where the snoring came from. Eren was there. 

   _Eren._

  The discovery that his boyfriend was there almost made Levi immensely uncomfortable. Levi tried to look at Eren properly, but he couldn't. Outside was wet and rainy and dark, but Levi couldn't see it because of the bright lights. The room smelled of ozone. That's just when the raven haired man noticed the faint pinging of a heart monitor, and the familiar roll of a needle in his arm. Levi almost panicked. 

   _Stupid, they caught you. Can't you see that? They're going to lock you up for being so stupid. Couldn't you have just died when you cut yourself that deep? No wonder Eren doesn't love you. Piece of shit. No wonder mom died. She died because of you. BECAUSE OF YOU!_

 Levi's body racked with sobs unknowingly, and he brought a hand to his mouth. The man looked over as he watched a tuft of brunet hair raise.

  Eren was awake. 

  "I met Erwin..."

  Levi couldn't have been more mortified. His sobs faltered, but the waterworks still came. Levi didn't say a word. The man just closed his eyes, and fell right back asleep like the earlier hours. These were his tired days; it was too much for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah please kill me. I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin or the characters. Constructive criticism is always good. Guys, I'm looking for a collab on a story. My only requirements are that we can message somehow, I go by Facebook messenger, texting, or email.


	7. The Old Dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is just some shit about the past, so it's gonna have Levi being buddy buddy with Erwin. Don't skip the chapter, though. There's gonna be some vital information in here. I think the first actual sex scene is gonna be in here too? Or at least sort of a tease type sexy time.

  Levi laughed softly, leaning against the muscled chest, watching as some of his friends glanced at them. Most of them were high off their asses, some on drugs, some just on smoke. Levi yawned loudly, kissing his boyfriend's chin, which was stubbly with a small amount of blond scruff. Levi frowned and shook his head slightly, a small huff leaving his lips. 

  "You pout too much, baby boy.. what's wrong? Did I do something?" Erwin's voice was self satisfied, as always. He grinned slowly, looking down to kiss Levi on his pale pink lips. The male's large hand slid down, and gripped Levi's bum, almost touching his unmentionables as well. 

  The short raven jumped, glaring at Erwin fiercely. Erwin chuckled, mumbling a few words to their friends, and he pulled Levi off by his crumpled dress shirt. Levi may have been 21, but he looked roughly 17 in this lighting. This fired Erwin up, a small smirk flicking onto his lips like a wick kissed the tip of a lighter. 

  Levi chuckled softly, his arms seemingly looping themselves around Erwin's neck. He played with the newly shaved hair, pulling it gently. Levi giggled like a child.

  Erwin couldn't have been mad at the noises Levi was making. Erwin purred a little bit, laughing in a husky manner while kissing Levi's pulse. He felt the beat of the man's pulse with his lips, it sped up as Levi continued to be touched like this. Erwin's adams apple bobbed as he chuckled. He was almost poking fun at Levi, but he'd never openly say so to his baby boy. 

  Levi looked up into Erwin's crystal blue eyes as the taller man pulled away. He smiled a little bit, and closed his eyes as he pressed his forehead against the broad chest before him. Erwin rested his chin on Levi's head, sighing softly. "You have a hard-on," Levi's voice rang out, the way he said it so blatantly made Erwin even harder. He chuckled a little bit, pulling back and rubbing his cheek a little, as if he could rub away the redness as if it were a stray crumb. 

  Levi rolled his eyes. He knew he wouldn't get on his knees and suck a dick, because that's just sort of... nasty. The raven male smiled lopsidedly, and he locked the door of their room. Sure, maybe it wasn't a good idea to have sex right there, right then... but the two didn't really care. 

* * *

  "Oh my  _god_ , fuck.. Levi.." Everyone died a little bit inside right then, hearing the grunts of their two friends. Hange looked particularly disgusted, and she just sat there next to her girlfriend, Petra, looking... how could she say it, petra-fied? 

  "Erwin- fuck, I'm gonna c-" 

  " ** _ALRIGHTY THEN, I'M GOING TO TRY TO BLOCK THE NASTY OUT, BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCKING GROSS. SOMEONE PLEASE GO GET ME EAR BLEACH, GOOD EAR BLEACH. LESBIAN PORN? SOMETHING GOOD._** " Hange was shouting, so pretty much everyone got some good blockage of the sounds coming from the hosts' room. 

* * *

  Levi had been together with Erwin for a year and a half today, and Levi was greeted by the tall man outside of his work. Levi smiled, immediately jumping into Erwin's arms. The short man relished in the smell of Erwin, and how muscular and tall he was... 

  Levi, like the idiot he was, found himself swooning. 

  Erwin chuckled lightheartedly kissing Levi's forehead gently, trying to make the smaller man happy after a long day at work. It looked like he had already succeeded in just that, judging on the way Levi giggled and smiled for no reason. 

  Erwin couldn't believe he had been with such a goofball for the longest time. They had known each other since they were kids. Erwin smiled, knowing the memories for how vivid they were. 

_Kutchel smiled at Levi, and then at the tall blond boy next to him._

_"Boyfriend, eh?" She grinned softly, bringing in the taller blond male for a hug. He hugged back, respectively. It made him smile. He was twenty still, looking young and still innocent. Well, on the outside._

_"Yeah... boyfriend." Erwin found himself smiling a slight bit, and he pulled Levi closer to his body, kissing the smaller man's temple. He clearly had to lean down to do so, and it was quite funny. Kutchel smiled at the sight, her bright silvery eyes reflecting the two boy's happiness. She was just glad her little Levi had someone to be looked out by. His mother had always wanted that for Levi, whether it was a boy or girl Levi brought home._

_That night, Levi almost reveled in the newfound acceptance of his mother. He ran his bony fingers through Erwin's hair, holding the man's head to his chest gently. His pale skin contrasted against Erwin's tanned, but it looked good. Levi blushed, a small smile framing his face._

_"I'm in love with you, Erwin."_

_"I'm in love with you too, Levi."_

Erwin's fondest memory of Levi had been the aforementioned. He still held Levi, kissing and smiling on Levi's paler skin. "I'm tired. I'll make you dinner and then we'll go to bed, alright, Levi?" 

  Levi nodded, dropping from Erwin's hold. He stared up with gentle, but piercing blue eyes as he quickly pecked Erwin's lips with a kiss. Erwin led Levi to his car, holding the smaller man's hand as they walked the distance. People almost couldn't help but stare at the two. They stuck out like a sore thumb, with Erwin having wrapped an arm around Levi's waist. Some people gawked, others stared like they were jealous. Levi only sported a small smirk on his lips, walking with his head tucked against his boyfriend's chest gently.

  They were an odd couple. Levi always couldn't help of thinking about when they first met. It was several years ago. They were about fourteen, so maybe six years. Levi let Erwin lead him into the car, and he sat in the seat. Levi ran his tongue over his teeth, glancing at his tall boyfriend as he got into the car. Levi was slightly fidgety, but he soon settled down for the hour long ride back home.

  _Levi looked at the boy across from him at the table. He glared sharply, listening to Hange's whining from across the lunch table too. Levi clearly didn't enjoy being invited to this new table, with this new blond boy and Hange. Hange practically squawked at everyone, like she was a bird begging to be fed. Levi laughed at his thought, and shook his head. He sounded like he had just coughed, anyways. Maybe he could pull off his passive aggression towards this blond piece of shit, without getting in a fight with him. Levi already hated him, close to seething as the other teen stared at him occasionally with a smug look on his lips._

_"Erwin!" Hange yelled, and Levi took a reluctant note of the name. "You should hang out with Levi! Levi loves new people!" Levi's silvery eyes widened, and he glared at Hange sharply. His jaw clenched, and he tried to smile through the grimace he sported on his thin lips. He looked utterly pissed, and Hange was grinning like a madman in her seat. She put a spoonful of pudding to her lips, and enveloped it, a smirk flooding her lips. With her spoon still in her mouth, she made an O with one hand, and put her pointer finger through the O. Levi immediately started shaking his head._

_"Maybe I will, actually. Levi seems like a nice enough guy. I'll walk you home, Levi, if that's okay?" Erwin's tone dared Levi to disagree with him, and Levi huffed, reluctant to nod and accept the offer. Erwin rolled his eyes at the stubborn male. Erwin felt a sharp pain in his shin, and he grimaced, but he looked up to Levi. Levi was glaring menacingly. Erwin chuckled softly, shaking his head.  
_

_And that's when Levi found himself walking home with Erwin Smith. He found that they actually did have common interests, but it seemed like they were just different somehow. Levi almost found himself not caring about the differences that they had. Like he wanted to actually get to know Erwin. Levi sighed and ran his hand through his raven hair, making a small 'tsk' sound. Erwin glanced at the smaller male. He was at least a foot taller than Levi, which made him feel sort of special. "Are you alright, Levi? You seem quite distressed at the moment. I hope I'm not the one causing this," Erwin's voice rang out. He seemed so self satisfied, it made Levi want to blanch.  
_

_"Yeah, sure, I'm pretty much fine." Erwin smiled a little bit at Levi's angry look, and he patted the smaller man's shoulder gently, receiving a slap to the hand and a sharp glare. "Don't fucking touch me, got it, Commander Eyebrows?" Erwin couldn't help but laugh at Levi's anger. His slightly tanned and freckled skin glowed in the sun, but nothing could match those blue eyes. Levi found himself almost attracted to them, but he couldn't be. He felt Erwin's hand sliding into his, and he groaned internally, complying by interlacing their fingers._

_And soon one hour passed, and then two hours._

_"Thought you didn't want me to touch you, Levi?" Erwin purred, licking a stripe up Levi's precum slicked member. The smaller teen shifted and shivered under Erwin, shaking his head. "Maybe I shouldn't touch you... I wouldn't want to make you unhappy." Erwin felt Levi's grip on his hair tighten, and he growled a little bit. He sounded sort of animal, waiting on its prey. While lost in his thoughts, he missed Levi mumbling something to him._

_"Hm, Levi? Say again?"_

_"Fuck me.." Levi's voice was sharp enough to cut diamonds, but airy enough to almost not be heard. Erwin's cheeks fled with red like a wildfire, and he stuttered quietly. Erwin nodded a little bit, silently reaching over to his bedside table to grab a condom nervously. Sure, he might hurt Levi without prep, but this was a one time thing... right? Levi definitely wouldn't come back to him for anything. Nobody really did. Erwin was almost fifteen, he knew he wasn't tied down until he wanted to be tied down. A small whine left the raven haired man's lips, and he blushed while pulling Erwin closer. Levi was panting, almost like he was desperate for this.  
_

_"Well, whatever you say.." Erwin's voice stuck in Levi's head. Levi grinned from ear to ear, drinking in the teen's appearance before him. The smaller teen closed his eyes, and sighed softly, hearing the quiet ripping of the package. It was just a sense of waiting, for Levi. He'd been with too many guys, already, so... it wouldn't hurt that bad, right? Indeed, it didn't. Not that bad, at least. The initial sting went away after a while, and Levi's lust filled gasps could be heard throughout the room._

_Erwin sighed softly, pushing in about halfway. He looked down to Levi, chuckling at the mix of exhaustion and lust on his face. Erwin pushed in to the hilt, leaning back to survey Levi finally. The teen's pale skin was covered in dark purple bruises and bite marks; this brought Erwin a sense of satisfaction, because he had done this. He'd damaged this kid. He found himself leaning down, thrusts paced but hard. "You're mine.. you hear me, Levi?_

* * *

  Unfortunately, almost all relationships come to a tragic end. Levi sighed softly as he watched Erwin click the controller of the TV, turning it off to listen to Levi's rant. Levi had stopped ten minutes ago, however, an unhappy grimace placing his lips. Levi was almost twenty-three, and he looked exceptionally dark at the moment. He wore a baggy black turtleneck, and black pants that fit everything together for him. Erwin sighed as he placed the remote down on the arm of the couch, and he glanced to Levi's tired figure. He almost looked displeased with Levi.

  Erwin had learned slowly to actually love the way Levi always reminded him to do things, or the way that Levi was always slightly angry and annoying. The man learned to love the light dusting of freckles on his cheeks and chin, and the way Levi's bottom teeth were slightly crooked. He learned to love the scars on his arms, or one long one on his neck. The blond man had learned to love everything about Levi, everything he knew. Erwin always had known everything about Levi, it was easy to read Levi once you got to know him. Erwin just smiled a little as he stared into Levi's silvery eyes, staring at him with a death glare. Erwin chuckled softly, and grabbed Levi's hand. Levi almost forgot what he was going to say.

  Levi was always scared to find that one day, Erwin would leave him. It was sort of a weird relationship between them, but Levi knew that he would miss Erwin if he left, if he broke up with Levi. The man knew that after a while, everyone would start to leave him. Kenny left him at a young age of ten, and his mother had taken care of him until he was eighteen, and then... he moved into Erwin's house. Levi didn't see his mother as much as he would like to, but he sometimes went to her house, or took her out to dinner because he wanted to treat her. Levi worked mostly during the days, so he would come home to Erwin sleeping instead of fighting with the taller man. Levi still loved him, however. The moments that they did decide to spend together were some of the best ones. Involuntarily, Levi scooted closer to Erwin and let the bigger man envelope him in warmth, a small smile on his lips. "I'm sorry for ignoring your needs so much, Levi... do you want to take some time off of work for a while? I'll take you somewhere.. or something, out to dinner, to a hotel.."  Levi nodded as he heard Erwin saying this.

  Levi ended up going to bed sometime later, but woke up to Erwin throwing a fit. He groaned slightly, and he felt all sounds cease. He smiled slightly, enjoying the peace and quiet again. Erwin sighed, and grumbled something about Levi being 'such a piece of shit'. Levi got fired up quick normally, but this made him angry. "Can you shut the fuck up? You don't have to talk about me when I'm right here."

  "Yeah, well maybe you'd take the hint that I think you should just fucking leave!" Levi sat up, and looked at Erwin, appalled. Erwin didn't stutter as he said this all. "Actually, Levi, get the fuck out. Get out of my house and don't come back. You don't deserve to even be here. You don't... deserve to have somebody." Levi was up almost immediately, grabbing a big bag. He packed what he needed- no, what he had, which were clothes and important things. He grabbed some toiletries, and his car keys, almost racing out of the house.

  What Erwin didn't see him grab, however, was a picture of them off of the wall. Levi hesitantly tucked the photograph under his arm, his body shaking slightly with how upset he really was. Levi wanted Erwin to hesitate, say sorry and tell Levi that he didn't really have to leave. But the blond didn't. He watched Levi as he walked out of the house through his bedroom window, scowling and crossing his arms. Levi got into his car, settling his stuff. That's when the reality is it all set in. Levi sniffed, his mouth falling open in something that resembled shock. Levi just sat there for about ten minutes, until he started the car. His headlights flooded the pitch black night, and he pulled out of the drive slowly. Levi picked up his phone from the center console, and sighed softly. He dialed a number, and put the phone to his ear.

  "It's three in the morning, Levi. You'd better be dying, or else you're going to be dying in a while."

  "Hange, I need a place to stay..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still looking for suggestions. Constructive criticism is always good. I'm still looking for a Co-author also, who doesn't mind not being anonymous with myself. I'm comfortable with sharing my name, anyways, so I'm Jay. Shout out to.. I think BlissfulBluesAndGiants, is that your name? I like you, thank you for reading xD Way to formally introduce myself, right? Anyways, I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin or its characters.


	8. Oh, It Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Three chapters in one day. I hope this makes up for me being gone for so long. I'm kind of in the middle of crippling depression, so forgive me lmao. This chapter might be short because it's 10PM where I am right now.

  "You met Erwin, now did you..." Levi ran his fingers through his hair, sighing softly at the thought of Eren and Erwin leisurely talking to each other on a Sunday afternoon. Like it would be regular. The thought made Levi cringe completely, and he sighed. One hand made its way to Eren's hair, stroking the soft brown locks as he looked at his tired lover. Even at twenty, his lover looked strangely young for his age, like he hadn't been completely broken by the world yet. 

  Eren nervously looked at Levi, his bottom lip being bitten and red from the long hours of waiting. The meeting had went a little something like this.

  He had come back from school, only to find several calls on his phone from the local hospital and Hange. Mostly Hange, however. The variety of phone calls came from unknown numbers. The six consecutive calls were from Hange, and the seventh from the local hospital. However, there was a number he didn't recognize. Eren remembered the call pretty vividly. It went civilly, so Eren didn't dare make his voice sound rude, or not pleased that he had gotten a phone call from his best friends boyfriend. Sure, Armin and him didn't speak much, but Eren still tried to keep in touch. To get a call from Erwin Smith, was like asking Eren to worry about Armin. The brunet sat there, asking multiple questions to the man on the other side of the phone. 

  "Relax, Eren, Armin is alright. I'm here for him, and as long as I'm here Armin will not get hurt. Trust me," Erwin's reassurance made Eren sigh in relief. "But.. Levi, however. We don't know how Levi is doing yet." 

  This statement made Eren queasy the minute he heard it. "Where is he?" The reply Eren got was simple, and it was the hospital. 

  And that's where Eren ended up, was here right now. The man sat next to Levi on a rolling chair, his eyes having bags underneath them from staying awake so long, just to wait for Levi to regain consciousness. Eren grabbed Levi's hand, which was still being carded through with cautious fingers. He held Levi's pale hand against his, wondering why it was such a difference between skin tone and size. Eren sighed softly and kissed the deathly pale skin. Levi knew this was weird for Eren. He shouldn't have dragged the other male into his shit salad life. Shit salad, he'd have to use that one again. 

  "Look, though.. Levi, I'm alright. I just want you to know that. Even if hospital visits are going to be regular, I'm still going to love you, I'm still going to stay here with you. Please just don't leave me, alright?" Levi nodded solemnly at Eren's statement, a small grin forming on his lips. 

  There was a knock at the door, and Eren looked up. It was too late for anyone to really be coming in, that is, until a woman with the same chocolate brown hair and facial features as Eren stepped into the room, pushing the curtain back. Eren stuttered. "I, uh, ma, hi." At this, Levi tensed a little bit, looking sharply to Eren. 

  "Eren, why don't you introduce me to your friend here, and explain why you missed three phone calls from me." Levi almost laughed, but he was almost scared of the woman who just blatantly walked into the room. "You know, just because we aren't very close doesn't mean you can't get your head out of your ass and text your own mother. The next time you do this, you'll wake up the next week." 

  Eren was blubbering and stuttering as he watched his mother sit down on another swivel chair on the other side of Levi's bed. "Ah, I'm Levi Ackerman, Eren's.. boyfriend." Levi smiled at the small thought, and he heard Eren groan and nod. "I'm sorry if I've been keeping your son from you. You see, I really like him a lot. Probably as much as you like him. But that's really not the point. I think it is, actually." 

  Eren's mother laughed, a whimsical laugh that remided Levi strongly of the opposite nature of Eren. "I'm Carla Jaeger, Eren's obviously easy to forget mother. Now, someone explain to me how you got here, cutie." Carla smiled at the raven haired man next to her son. She almost completely ignored Eren. 

* * *

  Carla nodded at the newfound information of Levi's collapsing in the grocery store. She sighed and ran a hand through her messily done hair, which slightly grayed at the sides. 

  "I understand that, Levi." She smiled sadly, patting Levi's hand. His pale lips flicked up in something a little less than a grimace. This made Carla smile more. 

  "Really, ever since Mikasa died, and Annie committed suicide, mom and I haven't really been keeping in much contact. The whole family basically split up. Even though Mikasa was adopted, she was really like a sister to me. All of us felt connected, really, like Mikasa was the missing puzzle piece to our broken family." Eren sighed softly and smiled at his mother. "Mikasa died at a very early stage of leukemia, and her girlfriend Annie left soon after her, seeming to not be able to take the pain of Mikasa being gone at all. It really was a tragedy. Dad was learning just to accept the fact that we weren't heterosexual, and then.. well, the acceptance left our dad right before Mikasa died, and I'm not quite sure if he regrets leaving us or not."

  Levi was shocked to silence. Carla didn't say anything for a while, but cut Eren off jist as he was beginning to speak again. "Grisha is Eren's self proclaimed guardian, before Eren moved out. He was very skeptical of his children liking the same sex, because he was a very well known doctor, and he didn't want anything being leaked that he had raised gay children." Eren laughed a little, agreeing. 

  The raven haired man looked to the side as he remembered what had happened with Kenny and his mother. Kenny had been staying with them, finding it to be a good bonding experience with Levi. Levi cringed at the thought of spending time with his uncle, but his uncle almost reveled in it. That was, until one day, Kenny made the mistske of walking in on Levi and Erwin, passionately.. well, how should Levi describe it.. screwing? Levi was a panting mess, he didn't even notice the fact that Erwin had stopped what he was doing. Levi opened his eyes unhappily, because of the process being stopped, but he was met with Kenny looking quite furious. "You gay shit! Leave! Get out!" And with that, his uncle stormed out. The screams of his mother and Kenny were evident; they were fighting again.

* * *

 

  "-vi.. Levi.. Levi!" Levi blinked softly and looked to the voice. Levi kept looking around, noticing that Carla was gone. The quiet hours of the morning were looking upon them, and Levi tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He was only greeted with the needle in his arm, poking him painfully. The man sighed, looking at Eren. He didn't want to wake up, so Levi turned sround simply and tried to go back to sleep like it was nothing. 

  Eren only turned him back over, sighing. Eren looked incredibly old, and sort of tired. It made Levi smile sort of, wondering how he got someone so perfect. Levi moved over silently, and he patted the warm bed. Eren almost objected, but he then got onto to the bed, sighing softly. Levi laid close to the other man, smelling the faint smell of his deodorant and his laundry detergent. 

  It wasn't often that Levi let Eren hold him like this. The needle stuck painfully into his arm, but Levi didn't care as much as he should have right then. He tucked his nose carefully against Eren's neck, breathing against the lightly tanned skin. A small smile graced his lips, like someone was pushing his lips up to feign happiness. Levi pressed a palm to Eren's chest, and closed his eyes once more, finally feeling comfortable in the hospital bed with Eren by his side. 

  Eren laid there, his body immediately deeming him drowsy. He knew he shouldn't fall asleep unless Levi could be supervised while he did so. Sure, maybe he was treating Levi like a baby, but he didn't care. Levi was his baby, so it didn't matter if he spoiled the hell out of him. 

  However, Eren was trying to protest to sleep. The man's body was relaxing, and he was contemplating staying awake. The bed was warm and cozy, despite Levi being the ice cube. Eren thought that sleep might not have been such a terrible idea.

  Eren's eyes fluttered closed, and his breathing became softer and softer, until his body completely relaxed and surrendered to sleep. Levi smiled at the feeling, a sigh leaving his lips. He was sort of happy then. 

  And for once, Levi decides that maybe life is more than his tired days. 

  That maybe it's worth it. 

  With Eren, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the sudden rise in hits. I love you all so very much. Have a good day, guys and girls. I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or its characters.


	9. I'm Sorry Guys.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a chapter of the story. I don't know when that will be up.

  Hey, anyone who's reading Our Tired Days. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience for this but I'm afraid I'm going to have to wait a while to release a new chapter of this, and Child of Yesterday. I love all of you, and thank you for supporting me through this. 

  Right now I'm going through some things, and I wouldn't classify myself as mentally stable enough to release new chapters and all that biz. I'm so sorry. I actually feel really bad for this. I might try to write a new chapter for both Our Tired Days and Child of Yesterday before I go for a while. I'd be so thankful if you would all be patient with me while I go through some of these things. 

  I'm looking for someone still to collaborate with, but I'm also not very stable. If someone were to collaborate, I'd warn you that I might not get back very soon, no matter how much I'd love to. 

  Thank you everyone for being patient for me. I still apologize so sincerely for leaving the stories at a halt, but I'll get back to them soon. I love you all so very much, and thank you for sticking here with me. 

  If you have any concerns, you can contact me here:

Skype: shorty.of.death

Email: jawdayscizzorhandz@gmail.com

  Thank you all. 


	10. Baby, It's Cold In My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's birthday special actually.

  The months passed leisurely, and every morning was Levi being woken up by the light his life. But these mornings, these were strangely better than they'd ever been. Almost a year had passed into another harsh winter, but the two men only got more and more warm with love during this time. 

  Even though Levi and Eren were celebrating Christmas together, Eren took his own time separating Levi's Christmas gifts from his birthday gifts. The act had taken up several hours, but Eren couldn't bring himself to mind anymore about the shortage of time. 

  Levi's eyes were brighter by the coming days, and he'd filled out sort of well. The man gained muscle definition, willing to step outside of his house with Eren at his side for a run and a trip to the local gym. Life was.. good, life was very good for him. Levi couldn't always help being ecstatic about the way that his life had so spectacularly changed in the time Eren had been with him. The man couldn't believe it. The coffee shop was the most important thing for Levi, a memorial of the memories Eren and himself had there. 

  After all of those months, Levi still kept the sticky note and the five dollar bill Eren left for him on that quiet morning in the coffee shop. Whenever a moment arose for Levi to bring it up, he always did, watching Eren's face light up in a shade of cherry red. They were the most innocent of couples, sharing loving glancess across gray café tables, and holding hands while looking at clothing in the local shopping mall. They were people to be jealous of, good people that went from bad lives to good. Levi and Eren looked... perfect together. There was nothing else that someone would be able to describe them as; for there were no other words to tell the love between the two men. 

  The days had been getting remarkably easier for Levi. Each waking morning was not of the shrill alarm clock anymore, it was the rising of his lover at nine o'clock in the morning. The soft rubs between his shoulderblades and the gentle kisses at the nape of his neck. The harsh December winds no longer tickled the back of his neck while he slept through the crack in the wall, but Levi could silently listen to the rain with the feeling of his lover pressed up gently against him, sharing the same oxygen, sharing the same space, the same warmth. It was amazing, wonderful, everything Levi could've imagined happening in a storybook. 

  The one bedroom apartment had been abandoned, and they were both being supported by the surprisingly high funds from a small company Levi put together selling art supplies. They now had a two bedroom house, with two bathrooms, and a nicely proportioned living and dining room. Everything about it was perfect. 

  And on December 25th, Eren stood in the living room at eight o'clock in the morning, perfecting the tree with a small smile on his full pink lips. He wore only red pajama pants, and a thin white tank top. The man's hair was spectacularly messy, and he looked too tired to function. But he was glad to be able to support Levi on his birthday and on Christmas. 

  Eren waited until about nine thirty in the morning, for they had spent a little too long wrapping gifts and went to bed at a late time. Eren pushed his way between the heavy comforter and the sheets, scooting close to his beloved before gently placing a kiss on the nape of the man's neck. He smiled softly against the pale, scarred skin. There was a small tattoo at his hairline, that read Eren's first name and their anniversary. Eren had the same, but just below his collarbone. The chestnut haired man pecked the pale skin again, the small smile he sported almost immediately widening. 

  "Levi.. baby.. wake up.." And as the same as every morning, Eren rubbed between Levi's shoulderblades. It was obvious accepted by the older man, as he made a quiet noise that couldn't be mistaken for anything but a yawn. Levi carefully turned around, and looked up into Eren's forest green eyes, smiling sleepily at the man. His eyes, similar to the color of gunmetal, shone for Eren, and Eren only. It was quite the beautiful sight, for not a lot of people were able to see such a smile and a glance from the stoic man. He ran a finger over Eren's jawbone gently, laughing a little bit. 

  "Do I really have to get up? That could totally be your birthday present to me. You know? Being able to sleep in until at least eleven." Eren laughed at what Levi said. He stroked the man's raven black hair, and kissed the crown of his head carefully, like he'd break with just a single touch. "I love you but you wake me up too early."

  "Boo-hoo. And to think I'd be giving you any of the pie I made this morning. What a shame that it's going to waste," Eren said this with the most non convincing laugh. It made Levi roll his eyes at Eren's childish words, though. He surely loved Eren, way too much for words. He didn't find it possible for someone to explain it. 

  The feeling of loving Eren was blissful, because Eren was simply himself. Levi's body ached with how much he loved the man. It wasn't easy to explain, because words couldn't cover it at all. His heart still pounded every single time Eren woke him up, he still smiled when Eren nodded off and started drooling, and a smile never escaped his lips when he heard Eren talking, or his subtle and soft heartbeat through a layer of soft clothing or no clothing at all. 

  Levi's hands snaked around Eren's mid-section, hooking around his waist. "I love you, Eren... I know I say it a lot but I love you." Eren laughed, rubbing Levi's back. 

  "Are you trying to get me to let you sleep in longer or are you saying this genuinely?" Eren said this quietly, and Levi hit the side of his chest with his head, grumbling something that Eren couldn't hear. The brunet male laughed softly and kissed Levi's hair. He tried to lift Levi up, succeeding and carrying the man to their living room. The tree was lit up with lights, rainbow lights illuminating the branches softly to look like they were sort of soft. Levi enjoyed decorating the tree, even if he couldn't reach the upper branches very well. The man sighed as he was let down onto the ground. 

  As soon as it happened, however, Levi looked back to Eren as if to ask permission. "Go open your presents, you geek," Eren urged, laughing softly as he made a  _shoo_ motion. Levi was on it immediately, grabbing the stocking that was full to the brim. The man was happily grabbing at most of his stuff, taking it out and inspecting it, or pulling off the wrapping paper. It was nice to have these, for him. Levi had never gotten nice presents because they'd been so poor when he was a child. 

  Eren watched his boyfriend, smiling pleasantly. Most of the stuff had been bought with the help of his mother and father. His father thought it was for a girlfriend, his mother knew it was for Levi though. It was a nice gesture for her to also bring presents for the short man, and her own son. 

  "Eren? Open yours.. I want you to see it. I tried so hard." Levi laughed a little, but he seemed to be getting a little bit teary eyed.

  And the morning went on, with them both hugging and kissing, throwing wrapping paper at each other and picking at the candy they got for each other. It was until the two men were sitting on the big couch, with the foot rest out, that things got different.

  Levi was snuggled unbearably close to Eren, humming along to the songs and words belting out of the TV, which played The Nightmare Before Christmas. Levi settled down after a while, but his act started up again with a.. slight twist. The man put one hand on Eren's neck, kissing the tan skin that had been so close to his lips. A shiver coursed through Eren, like he was slightly disturbed by the kiss. "Is this okay?" Levi said quietly, not bothering to wait for an answer while he sucked on the soft skin. The raven haired man aimed to leave a mark. 

  "Y-Yeah, Levi.. I don't mind.." Eren's voice came out slightly thick, like he was nervous. The two had never done sexual favors for each other. Eren personally thought that Levi may have bern asexual, but he didn't like to assume things. 

  "Please.. do me.." Levi let his inner desires spill out from his skin, something that he'd wanted to do for the past few months. Levi crawled into Eren's lap with intent on his face. Intent to do what he wanted with Eren. "Please. I trust you."

  Eren was.. all over Levi by the time the words left his pale lips. Tan fingers explored new territory of sickly, paper toned skin. The exploration was childish, leaving several love marks, messing with the man underneath his fingers. Levi was enjoying this more than he should have. 

  Levi's fingers shook as he pulled off his sweater, and then Eren's started coming off. The skin was flushed on Levi's chest, and he was panting slightly. The slightly freckled flesh was never shown to the sun, so he almost illuminated the room with the creamy white color. 

 "God, Levi.. you're beautiful.." Eren said quietly, his hands tugging a little bit lower now, resting on Levi's hips. He'd wished this would have been a little easier in the past, and he'd wanted to know if Levi was okay with this type of stuff or not. The man knew now, though. "I didn't know you'd spoil me any more today.."

  Levi grumbled, a blush spreading from his neck to his cheeks. The man allowed Eren to slip off his sweatpants, only to show a slightly uncomfortable looking bulge in Levi's briefs. Eren laughed softly, testing the waters even more. He slowly ran a thumb up Levi's shaft, and even through the briefs made Levi jump a slight bit with a shiver coursing through his body. Levi pushed his hips up, sliding himself against Eren's hand, trying to encourage him. This did in fact get Eren even more fired up. He firmly gripped the man's dick through his briefs, smirking. A quiet moan left Levi's lips, and he furrowed his thin eyebrows. 

  Foreplay was spent a while on, mostly with Eren convincing himself that it was okay to try to have sex with Levi. Lube was a predicament, however, because walking to the room to get it caused several surfaces to have been violated by their make-out sessions. The both if them decided that it didn't quite matter, anyways, for they were in their home alone. 

  Prepping was also another tricky thing. Eren was experienced, but he knew Levi wasn't. There was a lot of reassurance, and stopping to make sure both parties were quite okay. 

  "Just.. go, Eren. Please." Levi whined. They had both been undressed somewhere in the process of getting to the room. Levi leaked precum slightly, having it smeared onto his stomach slightly. Eren nodded, carefully lifting Levi's legs. The man positioned himself and pressed forward slightly, a quiet groan falling from his lips. It was almost non-existent, but slightly adorable. 

  "Y-You're.. getting the hang of it, don't worry.." Levi's breaths came out in short gasps, hips bucking in a slow frenzy.

  Eren was finally able to realize how close they were now, how.. wrapped up they were in each other's lives. It was a good thing. 

  And no, it wasn't fucking. It was.. making love, you might say. 

* * *

  A few hours later, Eren opened his eyes, groggy but feeling quite nice. He wrapped his arms around Levi, who was tapping something into his phone before he put it down quietly. "Merry Christmas, Levi.. did I get you everything you wanted?"

  "More than that, geek.." Levi said, smiling and kissing Eren's cheek. "I love you.."

  "I love you too, Lee.." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCK YOU GUYS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR DEALING WITH THE CHAPTERS BEING SO SPACED OUT. I LOVE YOU ALL AND I'M STILL NOT FEELING EVEN EMOTIONALLY OKAY BUT I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, or its characters. Nor do I take credit in making anything. Updates might be a little bit slow, but I'll try to do them every three or four days if I get at least some people... tuning in, on my total A+ writing skills. I'll take suggestions, but I won't always use them, but I'll try to incorporate them in some way. Kudos and comments are welcome here, but remember to build up, don't break people down. ^-^


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